i should be doing other things probably
this was a really good movie because it had nic cage in it.
but it was also a really good movie because it had nic cage turning into a skeleton on fire riding on a motorcycle on fire. also there were lots of explosions and bad guys.
the movie is about a guy who has a dad who rides motorcycles over jumps and through hoops on fire. there are lot’s of things on fire in ghost rider! anyway the main character’s dad has cancer so the main character sells his soul to the devil to save him, which doesn’t work out very well because the next day the dad crashes during his show and i guess that’s what happens when you make weird deals with creepy old guys who won’t let you read the fine print.
always read the fine print!
the main character grows up to be nic cage, and he does motorcycle stunts like his dad too. one day the creepy old guy comes back and says that he needs to finish his contract. so for some reason cage turns into a skeleton on fire who tells really awesome puns and one liners. and he has a cool skeleton bike that vriska and i are totally going to make. then he kind of drives around for the rest of the movie being badass and rejecting this girl who is his love interest in the movie.
also he likes monkeys and drinking jellybeans from martini glasses. i’m not really sure either maybe they are just cool subtle motifs!
nic cage ends up saving the day because he is a good guy even though he makes silly decisions while he’s a skeleton on fire, but i’m sure you would as well if you were on fire, so you can’t really blame him. he gets the girl and the demon guys who are after him get punched in the face and stuff.
i give this movie six nic cages out of five because it’s that good.
I FINALLY FOUND SOME TIME BETWEEN ALL MY IMPORTANT LEADER DUTIES TO WRITE MY REVIEW.
JOHN ALREADY COVERED THE EXPLOSIONS PORTION OF THE MOVIE, AS WELL AS THE SHITTING-OUR-PANTS-OVER-NIC-CAGE PORTION. I WILL FOCUS ON THE INTERESTING PART: THE ROMANCE. OR AT LEAST, WHAT IS NORMALLY THE INTERESTING PART. IN THIS MOVIE IT WAS A FESTERING PILE OF HOOFBEAST SHIT.
YOUNG JOHNNY BLAZE DUMPS HIS MATESPRIT AT THE VERY START OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE HE’S TOO FUCKING EMO TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING. YEARS LATER HE’S GOT A MOIRAIL, MACK, WHO TRIES TO STOP HIM FROM PERFORMING BATSHIT INSANE STUNTS AND DYING. HOWEVER, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS PRETTY DAMN DYSFUNCTIONAL BECAUSE FUCKING NIC CAGE NEVER LISTENS TO ANYONE.
ONE DAY ROXANNE COMES BACK OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE. IT TURNS OUT JOHNNY NEVER GOT OVER HER, AND HE STARTS HITTING ON HER LIKE HE’S ERIDAN OR SOME SHIT. EVENTUALLY SHE GIVES IN AND AGREES TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM, BUT HE DOESN’T SHOW UP BECAUSE HE’S TOO BUSY BEING A FLAMING SKELETON ON A BIKE THAT’S ON FIRE.
IN THE END SHE FINDS OUT WHAT THE GUY’S DEAL IS AND FORGIVES HIM, BUT THE ASSHOLE LEAVES HER WITH JUST A KISS BEFORE RIDING INTO THE FUCKING SUNSET.
WHAT SORT OF FUCKING RETARDED ENDING IS THAT?
I GIVE THIS FILM BARELY ONE FUCK FOR POOR PORTRAYAL OF THE QUADRANTS AND SHITTY ROMANCE IN GENERAL.
OH MY FUCKING GIOD AHHAQ
OH MY GOD REMEMBER WHEN
ahhhhh I miss these so much!
Okay so
I really don’t like my grade 8 graduation picture my mom hung up in the hallway a few months ago so I
ah
the wonders of puberty
skip no one
I remember thinking of this the first time I read these pages, am I the only one, yes, no, get out of here, okay then
I wrote this all last night, and was literally one question away from finishing, when I forgot to switch tabs before hitting refresh and lost all of it.
Which is why this is late.
Anyway:
YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL.
Also this is in a text post so I can do a read more.
Disclaimer: these are all just my own headcanons! But I don’t feel like writing “I see it as” or “my headcanon is” for every one so I’m just going to be writing these as if they’re fact even though they… aren’t. So yes anyway.
how Australia does ads for feminine hygiene products
This is how you get women to buy feminine hygiene products, not showing girls in white skirts, partying.
this man should be the prime minister honestly
Everything is yes omg
now this is a commercial
hahahaha give that man a medal
You can call me Mr. Vanilla Milkshake
OH MY GOD
By the natural laws of the universe, I am obligated to reblog this.
